I’m a Voodoo Child, Voodoo Child…


Our first stop was actually in Memphis, TN.  I learned much about Loki here – he didn’t want to know much about me, but frankly, I was too brain-fried to care much.  Letting him ramble on about his plans and history not only kept him occupied, but let me in on what his overall goal is.That goal being wanting to take over the United States of America, one city at a time.

I see his point – since the battle of New York didn’t exactly pan out for him, and his initial attack in the desert proved less than fruitful, I appreciate his tactic of taking a step back and reevaluating his situation.  Why not take small bites of the meal instead of one honking mouthful?

Not that I’m thrilled with his crazy ass still trying to take over our world.  I appreciate his sentiment, I know he means well…but come on.  We all know he’s snapped his cracker.  But if the Holy Gopher feels I am the woman for the job when it comes to Loki Laufeyson, then I trust Him.  And if Loki does succeed this time, what better place to be when the world gets taken over than by his side?  Might get a sweet Brooklyn Loft out of the deal, some nice plastic surgery…does Asgard have unicorns?

Anyway, Memphis.  Memphis as I didn’t get to mention was lovely, if also cold and exceedingly busy.  I learned 80% of the show in this week, and the weather was harrowing at best (70’s one day, 30’s with freezing rain the next.)  Needless to say, what pictures I took documenting our excursion were few and far between, and in one heated argument towards the end of the week Loki decided it would be best settled if he were to throw my phone into the ice bucket, thus rendering my main contact to the outside world inoperable.  He wished to cease me speaking to “That Pettums Creature,” who I tried to explain was my best friend, but that did me little good.  He is a jealous one, that Loki.  If he isn’t the center of attention, baby gets testy.

So let us begin with Loki’s invasion of New Orleans.  New Orleans put Loki in a much more agreeable humour – streets flowing with alcohol and easy people will do that to pretty much anyone, I have found.

We ventured out the first evening with nothing but a spiked brass knuckle purse and Loki’s steel to protect us.  I was feeling quite badass with my new hair, and was even told to hand over my shirt due to it being equally badass.  Long story short, I was badass and no one was gonna mess with us.  An Irishwoman and a Norse god?  Ain’t nobody gonna give us trouble.
We fended off drunks, prostitutes, men with metal washboards strapped to their chests…twas harrowing indeed.  But eventually we made it to my friend Brian’s birthday party, located at a cozy little jazz bar on Bourbon Street.
Along the way, we even won some Mardi Gras beads!  I won’t tell you what he did for them…

I was granted some amnesty for my existence when I introduced Loki to the man of the evening, one Mr. Brain Love.  I was not allowed to listen in on their conversation.  All that is known is that they hold each other in very high regard, and since Loki only has one thing on his mind, all I can think is that I should fear Brian now.  Or they discussed Shakespeare and Disney songs.  Loki does love his Disney ballads.

Whatever they talked about, Loki became quite antsy after their little tete-a-tete.  He wanted to go out, explore the iniquity Nola had to offer.  For an hour straight, he demanded that I take him to have an audience with The Vampire Lestat.  That was an awkward conversation.

L: “But those of this puny world believe Me to be fictional, do they not?”

S: “Well, yes, but-”

L: “So it would stand to reason that if I am walking about this enchanting city, that Lestat may be as well?  Walking in plain sight, everyone thinking he is simply a fan of his own fictional existence? Take me to him, Slip of Hay, his trickery and manipulation fascinates me, I believe he would prove quite valuable in my quest for world domination.”

S: “I suppose, when you put it that way.  But I tend to think that Lestat is solely a literary device, a character hatched from Ms. Rice’s imagination…”

L: “People think the story of me and my…golden brother are merely fables to teach the human race the concepts of morality.  And yet here I stand, before this…what is this place?  I wish to enter it.”

S: “Not on your life.”

L: “The people exiting seem to be in high spirits. And oh, they are love acts with both men and women!”

S: “I feel like I’ve caught a disease I couldn’t even begin to pronounce just from looking at it.  Come on, I have to rehearse in the morning.”

L: “No rest for the wicked…”

S: “Alright, Frosty.  Cool it.”

After much bickering and carousing, I finally left him to his own devices at a bar across the street.  I had 4 hours of rehearsal in the morning, and frankly, by this point, he was so smashed and demanding I just didn’t have the energy.  No wonder he picked THIS bar to go to…

“I have a thing for redheads…” He murmured, before winking slowly at me and passing out in my hand.  The only time he showed signs of life was when a guy near me cracked a joke about the leprechaun being taller than Loki was, to which I promptly heard a yelp and turned to see Mr. Comedian gripping his bleeding arm.  We made for the hotel pretty swiftly after that.
As far as overthrows went, I call New Orleans a success.  Somewhere between drinks 6 and 24, Loki and his Asgardian drinking habits had drank most of the city under the table, even if he was a tad worse for wear.  Frankly, you should have seen the other guys.  He engaged quite a few shopkeepers in discussions on voodoo tradition, leaving the city with a few charms for “Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving You Heart’s Desires.”  I hazard to say they have some merit, as he got an upgrade on his seat for the plane and his happy ass got to sit first class while I was confined to business class with two girls who mocked me in a foreign language for 4 hours.
Tomorrow, we will discuss him running my first rehearsal in New Orleans tomorrow.  For now, this sleazy nun needs a siesta.  Goodnight, Sweet Prince…(I think this little ice cube is starting to grow on me…)
Love and Light of the Lord,
Sister Mary Stephanie And Loki the Destructor

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