In which Loki won a truck!
Ok, not really. But seriously, who puts a truck in an airport? How did you even get a truck IN the airport?
Anyway, this is not the story we are here to tell. Once upon a time, as Loki was pouting upon the Rainbow Bridge, he sighed.
“Le sigh,” he sighed, in a sigh-like way. “Why can’t I find someone to love?”
I have to admit, this forlorn little nugget tugged at my heartstrings. No one should feel unloved, and everyone should feel love. So I decided what the hell, I’m not doing much else in Rochester. Let’s get Loki romantically entangled.
My first thought of course, it being Valentine’s Day and all, was to just shower him with attention. Who doesn’t love having the most Valentines in class?
I couldn’t fool His Highness though. I forgot I’d already labeled all of them.
Looked like the only thing left to do was teach him the fine art of wooing. He’s known as Loki Silver-Tongue, how hard could this be? My buddy Operetta was kind enough to volunteer as tribute in this little lesson. She seemed a little put out, but hey, she’s a busy chick, and I know her time is precious.
“Hey there…what do you humans say…’Foxy?'”
“…are you serious?”
Uh-oh, red alert Loki, try a better tactic, maybe say something about what she’s wearing…
“I can see right up your skirt.”
Maybe someone with a little more…compassion. A woman where Loki could really figure out what made her tick. And what’s the phrase, “Cold Hands, Warm Heart?”
A robot would fit that description, right? And he’s from Jotunheim, 4 cold hands, 2 warm hearts…could be a match…
Miss Robecca Steam was so kind as to agree to chat with Loki. Things started out VERY promising!
“Hey there Frosty, like my hat?”
“It is…er…quite fetching. Reminds me of the Pillars of Asgard. Or those little copper coins Americans never use in their currency.”
“I know. I’ve never fit in. It’s my cross to bear.”
“Hey. No one really fits in, not entirely. That’s ok. You want to hold my hand?”
“You know, this isn’t half bad. Maybe it’s because you aren’t a lowly human.”
P.S. Rochester was very cold. I mean very. And driving was not the biggest of fun things to do. So me and Lokes kept to ourselves quite a bit. But you Rochester audiences made me feel like a flippin’ rock god, and for that I thank you. Also, our Mother Superior left us to our profound contemplation in Rochester. Although our reigning MS is tremendous, our temporary one was an angel who got me through very much. And for that, I send kisses and Benedict Cumberbatch-shaped Valentines. XO.