Skin, Neck, T**ty

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Damn Skippy I am.
Guys.  I would never, ever dream I would look at you all and with a wistful to lilt to my voice sigh and say…”I miss Schenectady.”
Not that I had anything against Schenectady.  It’s just I only learned how to spell Schenectady when I had to travel TO Schenectady.  Of course now that Schenectady is my new favorite city, I will be using the word Schenectady as much as I feasibly can.  Schenectady.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way…
Ask me why a place that looks like this would be my new favorite place.  Yes, this is the main thoroughfare.  Go ahead.  Ask me.
1) Free Laundry.  (Yes, this is valid.  Valid as fuck.  Anyone who doesn’t live in NY, LA, Chicago or etc., just trust me on this.
2) A Nutty Irishman Coffee that sent me to the goddamned Emerald Isle.
3) A Homeopath/New Age Store literally a block from my hotel.  The THEATER was on the SAME block.  A CVS was a block away.  A bomb ass burrito place was right next to a bomb ass sushi place that was across the street.  There was a movie theater a block away.  You get the point.
4) Hot Tub.  Fuck Yeah.
5) The theater had a vintage arcade, aka an indoor strip mall of kickass little stores, including one that was selling Doctor Who shirts.  DOCTOR WHO SHIRTS.  I rest my case.
6) I’m pretty sure our dressing room was haunted by someone who liked to steal our wig caps and sniff ’em.
7) The arcade broke my heart by showing a Godzilla marathon a week after I left, and “Big Trouble In Little China” the night of a show.  I have never been more tempted to call out in my life.
8) There was an Irish store a block away.  I mean straight up everything was from Ireland.  I got things with my ancestors crests on them and a claddagh ring straight up from Solvar jewelers in Dublin.  Baller.
9) The national sport of Schenectady is Beer Pong.
10) On Sunday they had their weekly indoor farmer’s market, with live music, pounds of produce, handmade everything, massages, wine, peanut butter, and that one thing you loved as a kid that always made you feel like everything was right in the world?  Yeah, whatever that was for you, it was there.
11) 2 for 1 bar deals everywhere.  Am I in Vegas?
12) THIS IS WHAT MY DRESSING TABLE LOOKED LIKE.
Yes.  Yes, that is a dressing table designed by the cast and crew of Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty.  The Goth Sleeping Beauty Ballet.  Signed by everyone.  I nearly had a fit.  Every dressing table was designed by a cast that had been there (we didn’t get the chance to do our own, sadly.)  La Cage, Billy Elliot, Shrek, Wicked…but this was mine.  And if I could have broke it down and carted it with me, I would have.
Here’s a shot of the La Cage Aux Folles one…check out the bedazzled rose…
Here are some more obligatory shots Loki had me take, since the table was like his own gothic playground for him to prance and plot in.
It was our own dark-hearted paradise for the week.
But I got off track here.  (Yes, that is a “Back To The Tardis” t-shirt I bought.  Deal with it.)
Loki didn’t stay with me in Schenectady, as he found the City Hall and quickly took that over…
And we investigated an abandoned building that we were pretty sure had been once owned by a demon cult that liked glass art…
Loki approved of this chalk art the coffee shop in the arcade did (spot on to the graphic art we have – what a welcome!  Thank you Apostrophe Café!  Also, please check out “Happy Cappuccino” when you are on Jay Street as well – every latte there is liquid happiness.)
And then there was Ambition Café, where that Nutty Irishman was, among delish everything else you could dream of…
I mean where else is Loki gonna meet Madonna, Kermit, Piggy, Hermey the Goddamned Elf and Wonder Woman all in the same breath?  Come on.
And to round out our stay there, the Hell’s Angels were running a charity pep rally to choke out cancer, and had flyers around.  If you took down a flyer, you got your face kicked in.  Since this flyer was on a table and not hanging up, I believe I will be saved of such a fate.
All in all, you kicked major ass Schenectady.  I haven’t had so much fun in a city yet, and your audiences made me feel like I was playing Woodstock.  So god bless you, Schenectady.  We look forward to seeing you again soon.
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