Rattlesnake Smile

Loki flew into Nashville with big dreams.
He rode upon a magic carpet…
He sailed upon the back of a majestic butterfly…
And after prancing along the Rainbow Bridge in a very manly and regal fashion that was not in the slightest way adorable, we ventured to our hotel in beautiful Nashville.
…Which was a sh**hole the likes of which got half the cast sick, for varying reasons.  Let’s just say the lobby smelled of sewage, with a lovely floral air freshener from Family Dollar.  Also, if you didn’t have a drunken bachelorette party sharing a wall with you, you had a group of teenage baptists on their first journey to the big effing city having parties in the halls, or you had the absolute batshit people who came to Music City to get trashed for St. Pat’s.
Needless to say, I would love to come back to Nashville AND NOT STAY AT THE MILLlENIUM MAXWELL HOUSE.  Because the city was kickass and absolutely killed it in every other way, but damn.  Just damn.
There was a very cool excursion Loki dragged me on though, as he was looking for the biggest platform in which he could address the masses of sheep he would now be ruling in Tennessee…
The Legendary Grand Ole Opry.
Neither me nor Lokes are big country fans, but you have to have a deep admiration for the Opry and its place in history as well as what it has done for the millions of artists that have been given their big break here, or simply been inspired by the magic the Opry has brought to the masses.  Yes, me and Loki got to stand on the sacred circle (which was definitely freaky, as it is spoken about as an almost holy place,) and Loki demanded I sing as it is “What the human guides say is an honor.”
It was an honor simply to walk these halls and hear the rich history and humble power the Opry wields, and learn about its rich, steadfast traditions.  We even stopped by Roy Acuff’s dressing room and said hello to the late Opry host, as he always had an open door policy and the staff still respects that rule to this day.
We got to see a few of the dressing rooms, each so vibrant and individual it would be incredibly hard to pick a favorite, but here are a few of the other rooms…
Loki was immensely confused by the giant guitars out front, as our large mammals don’t play instruments here on Earth, and we should have more respect for our instruments than to leave them outside.
He did bless the nearby mall for honoring my show in a proper fashion…
And oh!  We also did our first media night!  We got to stand in front of one of those backdrops with the logos, red-carpet style.
Yeah, Nashville was lovely.  I just wish our hotel wasn’t a nightmare.  But in the end, your music was killer, your food was something that I cannot describe its loveliness, and you were all around wonderful to visit.
Til the next jam sesh, Music City…

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