So, we left off at the Henry Ford Museum, where Loki learned about the art of the railcar hobo…
But a god’s gotta eat, right? There were some delicious spots in Detroit to be sure, but none quite like…The Zenith.
How does one describe The Zenith? Think of all the things god forgot. Now put them in a restaurant that serve Latin and Soul Fusion. That is the Zenith. Needless to say, it was the creepiest and most AWESOME PLACE THAT EVER HAS EXISTED.
There was a room dedicated to paint-by-numbers. A tiki bar. A creepy clown lounge. All with the flair of not giving a shit and having a good time. I’ve never wanted to eat somewhere more.
I mean, where else are you going to find a giant peanut lamp being held up by an Egyptian servant girl?
Or have you ever sat in anatomy class, next to your model of a human eyeball, and thought “damn, that makes me want a breakfast burrito?”
Loki rounded up the troops by the dozen here. Once he got back the circus behemoths…
“Stand aside, jesters. You are big. I’ve fought bigger.”
He had his choice of noble steeds…
He definitely had his pick of courtesans, that may tend to him once the revolution is underway…
And of course scads of artwork to adorn his many palaces with.
(This next one if my personal favorite. Such a welcoming, comforting image that makes you think of the good old days of tying grandpa – or just someone that kind of looks like grandpa – up to a chair on the front porch on a balmy summer day.)
Yes, Zenith was a magical place indeed. A wonderland, where clowns watched over you while you ate, and doll parts were grown out of planters aplenty.
Did I mention the fucked up clowns? I’m not even afraid of clowns, and this little room had me piddling a little.
They even were accommodating to Loki in a fashion I have yet to see, giving him his very own ocean-side view in the middle of Motor City, and a Loki-sized Piggly Wiggly.
There was even a clocktower to recreate “Back To The Future” with!
“Don’t worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles an hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower… everything will be fine!”
So once the overpowering of our species begins, and you journey to the great city of Detroit to beg for clemency from our great Asgardian leader, please remember to gain your strength with a hearty meal at Zenith. Oh, and don’t go to the bathroom.
Just trust me on this.