Wow…wow Loki…I didn’t know I meant that much to you…
And flowers? For me? Oh Loki, I knew this day would come, I just KNEW it. We’ll be so happy together! And our babies will be so beautiful…
…O-oh, my mistake…this was for Thor, wasn’t it…no, no it’s fine, it’s totally fine, I was just joking…heh…heh heh…no, I’m not crying…
If Minneapolis were a person, me and Loki would have had a happy, happy polygamous marriage with it. Minneapolis was just…so damn cool. And it was lovely that we were staying in downtown, because there was all sorts of lovely food, things to do, bookstores to raid and flagship Targets to wander in.
What you see above is from a delicious bakery called Angel Food. I was served by a kick ass chick with tattoos and piercings who loved my Doctor Who shirt. God Bless America.
What Lies Beneath, Though…
…Way fuckin’ cooler.
(“Oh Stephanie, is that a chandelier made of butcher knives and meat cleavers?” Why yes, yes it is.)
Welcome to Hell’s Kitchen.
This little piece of misery is actually a gourmet restaurant underneath Angel Food. And let me tell you, if this is hell? Sign me the hell up.
Loki wasn’t the biggest fan of the place due to its red theme, but assured me that if I enjoyed it so, he would allow it to stay after the uprising. I thanked him profusely, because if this place’s brunch menu no longer existed in this world, there would be no point in living in it anymore.
Despite the Satanic theme, this place was the most friendly and laid back place to eat. Sure, your waiter might have massive plugs in their ears that you can’t help but wonder what will happen when they are finally taken out, but hey, he’s got a genuine smile on his face and is serving you heaven in the underworld. Just adds to the charm, dude.
Sit Ubu, sit…good dog.
There was also somewhere else beyond massive and epic in Minneapolis that Loki just HAD to see.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we embarked on the most red-blooded American thing a person could do.
We went to the Mall of America.
I nearly had a panic attack it was so big. I literally went for things I needed – I needed jeans. I needed to see “Days Of Future Past.”
And I needed to see the Star Trek Exhibition.
Now, unfortunately there were no pictures allowed inside said exhibition. I know. I know, it crushed my soul too. And I am a good, honest human being. I would never DREAM of breaking rules, not where Star Trek is concerned. I mean, what did Captain Kirk teach us, after all?
He taught us damn the rules, if it’s for the greater good.
Me and Loki Kobayshi Maru’d the SHIT outta that bridge, son.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Other than that, we met Smurfette and a mermaid,
Saw some boobies,
Met Mary Tyler Moore,
And unearthed a MASSIVE trove of old theatre signs, advertisements and paraphernalia in the bowels of the Orpheum, where the show was playing.
And now, we have to go prep our new friend Chips for his role as Nun #18 in “Sister Act.” Evening, playas.
Live it like you is it.