*Dramatic “2001: A Space Odyssey” Theme*
This is Loki, coming from the one and only San Diego Comic Con! Was I there with him?
I was Free, FREE I tell you! For a whole 3 days! PRAISE ODIN! *cue more hysterical cackling*
The ever-wonderful, ever-kind, ever-magical Miss Robin Lynn was his escort for the weekend. She even gave a fancy new touch-up job! He’s so…regal…so shiny…
But I digress. ONTO ADVENTURE!
Firstly, let me just say, Loki did not know what to make of all the filthy humans imitating him.
(He sure didn’t mind the Ladies, though…)
I commend Robin for capturing this…what I can only assume what was quite a tension-fraught moment on film. Not only did he encounter yet another Loki impostor, but he came face-to-face with his long lost brother, Thor.
Since Mr. Odinson was under the impression his bro was dead, he didn’t take the news he was alive too well.
Fortunately, fire is no match for the wee ice giant’s mystical trickery. He escaped unscathed.
Luckily, Loki made some actual friends on this venture. Here he is with the intrepid “League of S.T.E.A.M.,” whose ingenuity and love for adventure knows no bounds. I hear through the grapevine Loki might have slipped them his card in regards to something that sounded vaguely like “weaponization.”
A Word Of Advice: If you see any of these individuals hanging with one Jotun god, accompanied by worryingly large blueprints, head in the direction of one Stark Tower, New York City.
He also met with this devious mastermind, Mister Alex Halcyon! A Comic Con staple, and I have been assured is an all-around sweet man. Or so he’d like you to THINK. MWAhahahahaha!!!
I mean look at that smile…like the Mona Lisa, there is a secret in those eyes…him and Loki look WAY too chummy for my tastes, if you ask me.
I tell you what, folks, all of you nerdy little devils at SDCC really confounded our little Loki. He could grasp why we love comics, TV, film and beyond enough to celebrate it, but when he came home he had many questions.
Questions such as – “If you love this Homer Simpson so, why did you feel it necessary to smother him in sand? We only hold deaths such as these for those we vehemently spite.”
“Why are you all so afraid, so terrified of such a small lizard such as this “Godzilla” character? My hounds growing up were three times the size of he.”
“Your people have mastered the art of reanimation, but still use archery as defense? How can you be so advanced, yet so simple?”
“Must you ALWAYS turn to those outside your realm to protect you? No wonder I came so close to orchestrating your destruction.”
“This man is a hound? And he has chicken as his friend? Do I even want to know?”
“I would have gladly respected this Mr. “The Mile,” had he seen it fit to dress a little more appropriately to be graced with an audience from me. He informed me that he had special attachment to the color green, and so I let him live.”
“But…if he is a man made of Quail, where are his wings? A beak? Do Quails have beards?”
“Ah, I see where I went wrong in the battle of New York. On Earth, in order to be believed a weaver of witchcraft, you must tower above humans in order for them to truly pay you heed. Note taken.”
“Now these men would be a noble squadron of soldiers, indeed. Not only are they synchronized, but they have the good sense to bow as I approach.”
“INFORM SLIP OF HAY I REQUIRE THIS VEHICLE!”
“I am confused. How do these natives of Middle Earth know these women from the frozen reaches? And I believed this winter sorceress was merely one woman.”
Yes, it seems neither the elves or Loki knew what to do with one another.
But where hobbits and elves are, orcs are sure to follow. And where orcs are, dragons are sure to be not far behind.
From what I hear, Loki high-tailed it once Smaug got a whiff of his golden armor. The Tolkien Contingent were happy to hold him off while our fearless leader made a fast escape.
Luckily, The NCC-1701D was on hand, and Picard wasn’t around to lock the controls.
“Make It So. And Kneel.”
Robin informs me that she tried to educate Loki on how epic seeing Andy Serkis and Orlando Bloom at the Hard Rock was for us nerdtastic humans…
But unfortunately, the gravity of this situation was lost on him.
Loki and I also got in a bit of an altercation when he returned from his trip, due to the fact that “Welcome To Night Vale” was RIGHT THERE…
And he failed to bring me home so much as a personalized scented handkerchief from Cecil. This is a grudge I will be holding for a long, long time.
It does seem that the talk of the town this weekend was Marvel’s upcoming movie, “Guardians of the Galaxy,” which hits theaters this Friday, August 1st.
At Comic-Con, we learned many a fact about Loki’s newest pack of crusaders to get his ass beat by. (No offense, Mister Highest Leader of Everything, Sir. But you gotta admit, you do excel at getting your ass beat.)
We learned that although Rocket may be small in stature, he makes up for in attitude.
And when the going gets tough, the tough gets in a compact little spacepod and gets the hell outta dodge.
And with that, Loki packed up his little backpack of glorious purpose and trudge home from a long weekend of geek-laden debauchery. He had a blast, and I had a weekend off from fetching him hot chocolate with extra mini-marshmallows farmed from all the other packs of hot chocolate mix in the box.
HUGE Thanks to Robin Lynn and Jimmy Staley for putting up with his hijinks, and another huge thanks for everyone involved with these amazing costumes, booths and pictures!
Until next time, folks!