In the Grainery and Under the Bed: What to Do When Giant Rats Invade

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Rats. Your town is full of them. These are not just any rats. These are giant rats. Many reach to your waist or higher. Some of them hop. Most have a poisonous bite. And they are everywhere.

A Scholar's Advice on What to do when giant rats invade
You, of course, are helpless to deal with them. What have you got? A hoe? A stick of wood? Clearly, this is not enough.

No, you need a plan, and our scholar is here to help you.

1. Ask a traveling hero for help. You’d be surprised how many are willing to serve as exterminators in exchange for the experience and whatever bits and pieces they find lying around.

Note: Hide anything you want to keep. Some of these heroes will pick up anything.

2. Hire a piper. Technically, any sufficiently accomplished musician will do, but pipers are traditional.
Note: PAY THIS PERSON. You may make pay contingent on the complete extermination of the rats, but once this is done, pay what you promised! Don’t ask what he or she can do now that the pests are gone. You don’t want to know what they can do.

3. Deal with it yourselves. ONE hoe, blunt weapon, or old gun is not enough. An entire village’s worth might well be. Coordinate your attacks and move from one house to another, one granary to the next. Have bandages and herbal antidotes handy at conveniently spaced points.

4. Move. Grow your crops somewhere else. Giant rats are highly territorial and while this means that they are unlikely to leave your town, it also means they are unlikely to follow you. Of course, some of you will probably starve on your travels, but it beats being eaten out of house and home by rats, right?

5. Poison the grain. Giant rats may differ from regular rats in several key ways, but they can still be killed. It takes a lot of poison to kill a giant rat, so be sure to poison a lot of grain. Also, be sure you can tell which grain is which. No point in poisoning yourselves, is there? Be prepared to use a variety of poisons over a long period of time and plan on a lean year or so afterward.

6. If poisoning more than half your grain doesn’t appeal and heroes and pipers are unavailable, consider digging pit traps. Again, you will need a lot of them, and they will have to be in front of every possible entrance to any building anywhere in the village.

How are you going to get around in the meantime? I’m sure you will figure something out.

7. Find a giant cat. There must be some somewhere, right?

Has your village faced giant rats? How did you cope with the invasion?

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