‘Time Bangers #1: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Tudor’ is Surprisingly Awesome and Mostly NSFW

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  1. Editors Note: Time Bangers is an erotica series written by Luna Teague and Ivery Kirk. That being said, it is most definitely not a book for kids and you probably don’t want your boss reading this over your shoulder. 

 

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Time Bangers is possible the most unfortunate title for an amazing book series I’ve ever seen. While it does tell you point blank what you’re in for, it does not do the strength of the writing team of Luna Teague and Ivery Kirk any justice. Book #1, One Does Not Simply Walk Into Tudor is a laugh-a-minute exploration of another time period, complete with lessons of friendship, the importance of family relationships and of course erotic escapades. I went into reading this book rolling my eyes; I left a believer in the series and can’t wait for more.

Beth is having a rough time of things. After a nasty divorce, she has been left to raise her 5 year-old alone. She works long hours for a verbally abusive boss and lives for the moments where she can slip away for a weekend. After a particularly bad work week and a call from the day care center where her daughter has been singled out for self-defense, Beth is more than ready to meet up with her Sorority sisters at a reunion party. She has lost track of her former best friend and research partner, Tawny, and is dying to catch up. She arrives to discover that she is no longer part of the group. After a colleague’s husband comes onto her, Beth does her best to distance herself from the situation. Upon using the restroom, she discovers the colleague’s husband has been spreading rumors that Beth came onto him. Outnumbered by angry women, Beth abandons the party to check out an old haunt on campus.

Tawny arrives shortly thereafter and is informed she is not welcome at the party either. Frustrated, the brilliant (and fabulously wealthy) Tawny discovers Beth in one of their old hiding places. After a weekend of catching up, Tawny insists Beth come work for her and quit her terrible job. Like a dream, Beth and her daughter come to live with Tawny in luxury and friendship. Of course, Tawny is hiding a secret. Deeply lonely and without a sexual outlet, she has invented a time machine to go back to other period of history and engage in sexual tourism. She’s thought out all the details…except the historical accuracy of her interpretations. Tawny has gained most of her knowledge through TV shows. In Tudor England, she finds herself dressed far differently than expected. Thankfully, Beth accidentally stumbles into the time machine and is able to help Tawny navigate her way around Tudor England with sex-tacular results.

What you should know is that there are only a handful of sex scenes in Time Bangers #1 and they are dealt with respect and sex positive. It’s almost as if *gasp* women should be allowed to enjoy sex (yes, sarcasm if you missed it)! Teague and Kirk go out of their way to create a narrative of friendship and support while refusing to criticize the libidos of their characters. They also refuse to criticize motherhood or the choice to not want marriage or family. I found myself screaming “THIS! THEY GET IT!” at random odd intervals while reading. Beth is illustrated as a loving mother who did not initially want kids, but now cannot image her life without her darling daughter. Tawny’s life is illustrated as full and complete with accomplishments, and allowing for her to not want a family but still want friendship. She is still wonderful and loving to Beth’s child without being negative. It was fantastic to see a writing team that highlights this importance without making their character look like her life is a mess because she doesn’t have children (Jurassic World, I am looking at you).

The prose does not try to be too lofty, but is most definitely written by two women with an education and an enjoyment of language.  The title is terrible, but Time Bangers #1: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mordor is a fantastic read for the summer. If you’re embarassed by the title, you can download it on a Kindle App.

Time Bangers #1: One Does Not Simply Walk into Tudor is available July 28, 2015. Look for it on Amazon.

 

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