Mistress of Death Review: Demeter Fragrances, or Why I Now Smell Like a Funeral Home


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Demeter Fragrance Library is a company that takes favored scents and turns them into cologne, lotion and even massage oil. Some of their most popular scents are “Gin and Tonic,” “Baby Powder” and “Pure Soap.” There are also a few that are a bit off the wall. A few years back, a roommate of mine told me about a fragrance she’d seen online. It was called “Funeral Home.” Though intrigued, I wasn’t sure what a funeral home would smell like.

There are over 250 different fragrances on the Demeter website. 95% of their scents are from renewable natural resources. While it’s impossible to make some of the scents without a few synthetic smells, for the most part the fragrances are natural. I decided I wanted to try a few of the odder scents.

After applying all the samples I purchased at once, I smelled like a pipe smoking dominatrix coming to terms with her religion at a funeral home. This was strangely not a bad smell.


Funeral Home has a floral scent, the most familiar of which is the scent of lilies. Also blended in are the smells of carnations, gladiolas, chrysanthemums and the additional scent of what their stems would smell like. There’s also a bit of a wood oil smell, and what the creators call “oriental carpet.” The scent lives up to it’s name; it smells like the viewing room of a funeral home. Thankfully, it doesn’t smell like an embalming room or decomposition.  According to Demeter’s website, the scent was so named because the creator felt it smelled like his grandfather’s funeral. I’ve been wearing this scent in an office for a few days now and no one seems to have been the wiser so far.

Out of curiosity, I also bought a few other interesting samples.

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Packaged mini samples

Riding Crop is a perfect scent to give to your friend who is perhaps a bit too into 50 Shades of Grey. The smell is somewhere between a leather jacket and its name sake. When I first tried this scent, I smelled it way too soon after spraying so mostly got a nose full of the alcohol base. I tried it again the next day and waited for the alcohol to dry this time. It smelled much better and far closer to the leather scent I was hoping for.

Holy Water appealed, as I’ve never thought Holy water has a smell. In actuality, the scent is more akin to an old church that hasn’t been using incense for some time. There is a light pine smell, similar to an old church pew, and that was about all I could get out of it. Per the website, it is supposed to smell like Holy water that has been sitting in an old stone container.

Of the samples, This is Not a Pipe was my favorite. The name of the scent comes from a painting by Rene Magritte, as well as the creator of the scent blaming an Art History course and post modern literature. This is Not a Pipe smells like pipe tobacco with just a hint of wood. The scent is comforting, and reminds me of a pipe unsmoked. I think this would be Gandalf’s favorite scent.

Note: I purchased all these samples with my own money.


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