Five Tired Villains in Need of a Break


Tired Villains in Need of a BreakThey’ve been good villains in their time. They’ve given the heroes a run for their money, and someday, they may do so again. But they’re tired now, and it’s time they took a break and went on holiday somewhere with a nice beach, some drinks with little umbrellas, and a good-sized spa.

Dracula He’s clever, he’s powerful, he’s mesmerizing, and he’s over-exposed. He started out back in Stoker’s time as a would-be immigrant to England, effortlessly negotiating the legal system and the housing market to find homes for himself and his new “recruits.” Since then, he’s been an angsty prince, a lovelorn lost soul, and a garden variety monster. It’s time he rented a castle somewhere and settled down to enjoy the moonlight.

Maybe he can take his descendants, sparkling and otherwise, on holiday with him.

The Joker The deranged clown gives Batman nightmares, and he’s starting to put the audience to sleep as well. Enough. It’s time to let the Caped Crusader face some new villains for a while, maybe even some without makeup. There’s no way this nutcase will be happy on a beach, so maybe he could go into the freezer for a while. After all, it worked for Captain America.

Jack the Ripper He’s a murderer. He killed some women and never got caught. From that has come unbelievable amount of notoriety. He’s been the victim of a science experiment gone awry, a hero fighting the Great Old Ones, a bodiless entity living on fear, and a garden-variety murderer for the hero to track.

He’s done his stint. Let him rest in peace.

Zombies They’ve shambled across the landscape embodying our nightmares of disease, run down heroes, besieged malls, and been fought by young women in corsets. They’ve fallen in love, tracked down murderers, and raged as mindless beasts. By this point, we’re knee-deep in decaying body parts. Let’s let them shuffle of somewhere to repair themselves while the vultures take care of the leftovers.

The Daleks It was wonderful to see Doctor Who return, and “Dalek” was one of the best early episodes, a surprise visit from and farewell to an old enemy. Then the Daleks came back again. And again, with each visit bigger and grander than the last until finally they cycled back down to the villain du jour level. In the last few years there have been good Daleks and bad Daleks, sad Daleks, and mad Daleks. Perhaps it’s time they took a little time off for some target practice. Maybe they can work with the Storm Troopers between takes on The Force Awakens. Or, they could just snuggle down in the Genesis Ark for a decade or so of sleep.

Also-rans: bad guys who might need to take a weekend or two away from the office: Cthulhu (by the time there are plushies in your image and people are nominating you for president it’s time for a rethink), the Cybermen, and all evil super-computers.

What do you think? Any other candidates for a one-way ticket to Elba?


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