David Bowie is the Goblin King in Matt Wallace’s ‘Lustlocked’


unnamedIf you read the blog regularly, you will know how deeply we sung the praises of the first Sin du Jour novel, Envy of Angels, by Matt Wallace. I am delighted to announced that the second book, Lustlocked, fills me with the same feelings of glee and morbid laughter. In Lustlocked, the King and Queen of Goblin kind come to Sin du Jour to hire the team to cater the wedding event of the century. The Goblin King’s son is to marry and the Goblin King is heavily implied to be David Bowie. Goblins are not unattractive creatures, but beings of incredible beauty and grace that have infiltrated Hollywood and the highest levels of glamour.  Think every CW star ever and most super models. There’s just a few problems. While the Goblin diet consists of gold and jewels, the Crown Prince is marrying a human woman. Her family must have food edible to humans. Sin du Jour is happy to take the job. Fearing that the human woman will be treated poorly by her new Goblin-in-laws, the catering company’s resident witch decides to use her skills to bring the two families closer together; way too close together. As the guests begin their feast, one by one they transform into giant sex-crazed lizard people. While this doesn’t sound too terrible at first, it soon becomes painfully evident that everyone is in danger of being sexed up to death.  The staff must react quickly to save the guests, themselves and the banquet before all of New York finds out about Goblins and lizard sex monsters.

Matt Wallace is an absolute genius of the absurd. In his first book, the most famous chicken nuggets in the world were mass produced by a giant magical defecating chicken. In Lustlocked, the lizard people sound like creatures Hunter S. Thompson would fear in a Las Vegas bar. This book has sex, political drama, relationship drama, a medicine man and horrifying displays of lizard sexual acts. As with Envy of Angels this is most certainly not a children’s book, and please don’t hand this off to your teenager. Still, the book is painfully funny and caused me to laugh out loud in public more often than healthy for the reputation of my sanity.

Lustlocked is available January 26, 2016 from Tor Publishing. I whole-heartedly suggest reading it as soon as you are earthly able to.



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