Unboxed: March 2017 Primal Loot Crate


I have a confession to make: The March 2017 Primal Loot Crate came just as I was heading out the door to go somewhere. I grabbed it, threw it into the trunk and…left it there.

Yes, it is true: I failed to do my duty as a Looter and open it at once.

Fortunately, this is not an irreparable failing: The box was still there waiting to be opened when I remembered, and all the things inside were just as they were before the car trunk (B.C.T.?)

It’s a fun crate–they’re all fun–though no single item produced any cries of joy.

Jurassic Park Electrified Fence Sign from Primal Loot WearFond of door signs? Or signs on your front gate? Nothing but nothing says “Keep Out” like an electrified fence. Add a dinosaur and you’re really not going to get any visitors. Seriously–watch out for the Velociraptor is a lot scarier than “Beware the dog.” Pity there is no actual dinosaur included, but symbols are potent things, so if you want a “Keep Out” sign, this will send the message.

Otherwise–It’s a cute plastic sign. No more, no less.

Predator Bottle OpenerAnother confession: The last time I had guests over, I couldn’t find the bottle opener. I might still misplace this one, but the Predator head is very distinctive, so if I do remember where it is, we have a conversation starter right there. Even if the people doing the bottle opening were not among my geeky friends, it’s still likely to start some talk. I wouldn’t describe it as classy, exactly, but it is certainly distinctive. It also looks like a good stocking stuffer (Yes, I start thinking about Christmas in March).

There is a Loot Crate PRIMAL RAGE T-shirt for those days when you are just not in the mood to talk to anyone about anything–anyone, that is, except for Primal Rage fans. They might come to chat. No one else will because man, that gorilla is scary!

Loot Crate has gone for the basic grey T-shirt again. Nothing particularly wrong with it–it’s just grey. The logo is impressively large and clear. I’m concerned that the decal may start flaking fairly early on in the shirt’s life precisely because it is so large. Washing it in cold water and keeping it out of the dryer will help, but not forever.

Old Man Logan from Primal Loot CrateThen there is the big-ticket item, a Logan Die-Cast figure. It’s a surprisingly heavy little statuette, and well-painted. I got the Old Man Logan version, which is the most trendy of the current figures. There is also the possibility of getting a younger Logan with black hair and full uniform, or a smothered in adamantium version. That last is maybe a little morbid, but it does reflect the material the statue is made of, and supposedly it’s a Wolverine who is finally at peace, so perhaps it’s not a bad way to remember him. It’s got the big head of all such figures, and of course a full-on snarl, whichever version you get–there are no alternate poses, just alternate painting variants.

The March 2017 Primal Loot Crate PinAnd last, there is the Loot Crate pin. This one has a happy face shredded by primal claws. I guess it’s for when you’re in a really super-bad mood? You could pin it on your Primal Rage T-Shirt and make sure no one came anywhere close. The pin unlocks 2 free digital comics from Comixology: Savage #1 and #2.

And, of course, there is the magazine itself, which is always amusing.

So, not the best-ever Loot Crate, but the T-shirt and the Logan figure make it worth noting–and the Primal bottle opener is distinctive.


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