A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns-Review

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Hello and greetings, Amanda here: writer, cosplayer and non-binary human person! As someone with non-traditional pronouns myself, I love and jump for anything that is a teaching tool for helping others understand the magical and at times confusing world of pronouns. The truth is that it doesn’t have to be confusing but when your pronouns are your life, it can be at times difficult to explain them to Muggles. Pronouns in this instance are similar to the ones you may know from grammar school (or in my case, strict nuns). Your pronouns for non-binary or trans folk are vitally important, it’s an important way to express who you are. For instance, mine are s/he since I don’t do the gender binary. Having your pronouns affirmed and respected is a wonderful magical feeling that’s something like touching a cat’s toe beans or being acknowledged as a valid human being and misgendering can be intensely disheartening even when it’s done simply out of misinformation and incredibly harmful when done maliciously. Which is why I jumped at the chance to review this guide (well, not so much jump, I’m a very round thing). For some in the non-binary camp the use of they/them pronouns is the best way to affirm their lack of attraction to a binary gender system, when brings us to this lovely little book A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns by Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson. Archie is they/them and Tristan is he/him and I love that the book’s credits feature the pronouns of those who worked on this helpful guide.

This book is first and foremost an educational tool; it’s fun and approachable and kind. Sometimes, when talking about pronouns, it’s hard to explain clearly to those who see a gender binary and this book does a fantastic job at explaining the mystical unicorn of the pronoun world: they/them. They/them has a long history of being used by gender neutral people and can be a little tricky grammatically and in real human life. The book starts off with a lovely breakdown of the basics of pronouns and how they are used, it is not condescending and is humorous and far more eloquent than I could ever be talking about something that can and should be more basic. The next part of the book really speaks to me, assuming gender based on visual clues! If you see me, for instance, almost every visual clue gives you WOMAN (thanks, Satan). So even if I am using male nouns and pronouns that day, the visual clues still scream WOMAN. I love how Archie and Tristan cover having the moment to think about what the visual clues of a person are and are not giving you: it’s as simple as asking or simply using gender neutral language when talking to a person upon first meeting them. The next panel about the pain of being misgendered spoke to me on a psychic level and was done with plenty of emotion without being preachy.

There’s even a quick and handy chart to help you better gender folks that are gender neutral, like simply using their name or how to properly use they and them in speech and text! Heck, I’m a seasoned non-binary human person and I’ve learned a few things!  The next sections on why pronouns matter and the pain of being misgendered are personal, full of heart and brought back painful flashbacks of the times I’ve felt even the smallest of gender dysphoria. Archie is a fantastic story-teller when it comes to such a sensitive topic and I tip my hat to them. Towards the end, there’s a script and plenty of practical information to take out into the wild about they/them pronouns, gender neutral people and non-binary people with helpful tips like: don’t be a jerk, ask a person about their pronouns and also non-binary and gender neutral folks, don’t be jerks when people mess up on accident and are doing their best; there’s even a section on using they/them pronouns in a professional setting! I was so impressed by this section considering that I’ve had to explain pronouns to more than one boss with varying degrees of success. The last section on how cisgendered people can support and be there for non-binary and gender neutral folks is an inspiration and should be required reading for the remained of society. The part discussing how difficult it can be to be non-binary or gender neutral was well-done, it didn’t sugarcoat the topic but it also provided a great deal of hope and optimism that things can get better even if you have to make them get better on your own one step at a time.This book was a gem, a fast read that has excellent art to it with plenty of humor, wit, heart and actual, valid information on a subject that is increasingly more common.

I cannot recommend this book enough! 5/5 stars!

A Quick and Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns is now available Oni Press. 

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