Sac It To Me!

Helloooooo Cali!
Where Loki didn’t make love to a horse, but definitely shrunk one down, broke off its legs and tied it to this bike that was conveniently parked in the shower.
Sacramento was so beautiful.  Truly.  So much gorgeous, uplifting art…
And slightly disturbing, unsettling art…
Loki loved Sacramento, even though it was a bit sunny, warm and bright for his tastes.  But there was lots of art for him to claim…
“The Great Poseidon?  HAH!  More like the great POSER-seidon!  Amirite?  Slip of Hay?  ANSWER ME MORTAL!!!”
“This poor elephant.  I’m confused, human.  Why would you worship a god who was so hefty he killed his mount?  A mount that was an elephant?  That is one fatass god.”
“I’m uncomfortable.  Slip of Hay, I desire to leave now.  Immediately.  As soon as possible.”
We visited a lovely store called Zanzibar, where Loki discovered a menagerie of mounts for himself that we were pretty sure he wouldn’t crush under his enormous bulk, (Shhh, don’t tell him I said that…)
Along with a lovely peacock to bring out his plumage…uh, I mean the peacock had lovely plumage…*cough*
Lucky we found such a mighty steed, because soon after that we found an honest-to-god devil’s crossroads.
Loki, of course, asked for universal domination over all realms of existence.  The devil said “Sure thing, you just have to give up all magic to me, and grow an anteater’s schnoz that you must suffer with for the rest of your life.”
Turns out there is a price too steep to pay, even for Loki.
We decided to go for a Rickshaw ride, but we had no one to pull it.
So Loki created a giant rabbit to pull it and drag us down its rabbit hole filled with change.
Where we built a snowman out of pillows.
(Loki likes “Frozen.”  I wonder why…)
Loki also enjoyed Sacramento due to its innate subjugation and proper protocol when it came to his highness visiting.  They even marked their parking spaces, to remind its people of its place.
After seeing such a conscious effort to submit, Loki was hungry for more knowledge regarding this lovely city.  We found a lovely bookstore with quite a bit of attitude for him to absorb info from.
He found a forgotten relic there, a shell of gods that once were.  They became very good friends, and Loki enjoyed it because it was the madness of creating a circle of friends without all the time and energy wasted.
And when we stop for lunch, we were met with the most gut-wrenching tip jar we’ve ever encountered.
 Yes, there were all sorts of gorgeous sculpture, art, and the PARK, the park was nothing but trees that no two seemed to be alike, and this gorgeous rose garden that I could have spent my life in.  Sac-town, you were expensive as hell, but I tell ya what.  You were gorgeous to visit.



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