With the recent release of Virtually Yours, a comiXology graphic novel about dating in today’s digital age, we are glad to be able to share this well thought out essay from it’s writer. The story is a lovely bit of reading, so look out for my review of it tomorrow.
Living and Dating in a Virtual World
Essay by Jeremy Holt, writer of Virtually Yours
I know that what I’m about to discuss comes from a place of privilege. I am healthy. I live in a low-risk state. And I am fortunate that my day job has converted into steady remote work. On that note, it’s clear that every business—macro or micro—is having to think outside the box in an attempt to maintain order in the marketplace. As a result, I think we can all appreciate living in a digital age. The internet may have emboldened some of us in terrible ways, but it has also allowed us to respond in some immediate and necessary ways. Nothing is perfect in this civilization we consider to be modern, especially when contingencies regarding our survival have had to be implemented practically overnight, but I shudder to imagine how we’d endure a pandemic and economic depression without access to the information highway. Now to shift gears a bit by focusing on the premise of what it means to live virtually, as inspired by a graphic novel I wrote.
The story of Virtually Yours was initially conceived in the Spring of 2015. I must admit that the idea of writing a romantic comedy centered around a dating app wasn’t entirely original at the time. However, I am old enough to have lived through the awkward transition into online dating during the early to mid-aughts. Now it’s been completely integrated and embraced by society, but back then it was still very much taboo, kids!
Today, online anything has become society’s lifeline in response to a global pandemic that has left all of us stranded inside our homes. With that in mind, I now look at my story from a very different perspective. Living your best (virtual) life via the advent of a plethora of popular online platforms like Zoom and TikTok has become a real and necessary activity. It’s forced all of us to reconnect with one another more creatively than ever before, and most recently has empowered thousands of us to mobilize for worthy and long overdue societal injustices. In fact, high-speed internet has enabled us to reexamine, reevaluate, and repurpose what it means to live up to our potential.
Yet, as connective as this new virtual landscape has and can be, it cannot replace the absence of interacting in a three-dimensional space. Particularly when it comes to all stages of a romantic relationship. Virtually Yours focuses on one particular aspect, which is the notion that a simulated virtual connection can be equally as genuine as a random face-to-face one. In this day and age I’d argue that they’ve become interchangeable.
Dating in the time of Covid has presented some very unexpected challenges and resulted in some unique disruptions. I have friends whose relationships have ended because of the rational and irrational fears of contracting the virus. Up until a week ago, I lived through a breakup that stretched over three long and agonizing months while under quarantine. To get back out in the dating scene during normal times was daunting enough. Now add all the stresses of 2020 and it not only seems implausible but almost irresponsible.
Despite all of it, we always find a way to attempt to achieve normalization. Online dating has evolved from simply facilitating an eventual in-person meet up to hosting dates in their entirety. This has dynamically altered our ideas, notions, and expectations of courtship because the physicality component has been removed. I know because I have participated in the new normal of Zoom dates, Netflix Party dates, Animal Crossing dates, and my personal favorite: Checklist quizzes that reveal me and my date’s connections on a much more intimate level.
Beyond dating, creative problem solving is the name of the game and it’s here to stay. And that’s not a bad thing! Whether it be conscientious social distance happy hours with friends, video chat dance parties with strangers, and/or curbside pick-up from your favorite restaurant, we are all trying to navigate this new digital touch-less world we now find ourselves in. I, along with the rest of us, long for the days when you didn’t need to mask-up like a bank robber to get your groceries, or constantly remind yourself to not touch your face, or wash your hands a thousand times a day. But if those days have been adjusted permanently then I say we continue to pioneer new and sustainable ways to be human.
I wish I could offer some suggestions. In lieu of that, I hope that my small offering of an entertaining story that I tirelessly crafted with artist extraordinaire Elizabeth Beals, lettering pro Adam Wollet, and design wizard Tim Daniel, ferries you happily along or better yet inspires you to contribute your own creative offering to the digital collection plate.
