Asian American Native Hawaiian Pacific Islander Heritage Month is an opportunity for Asian-Pacific Americans to share aspects of our experience in the U.S. In light of this, I’ll explain a fandom experience within that context. So a little about me:
I am an Asian American fangirl. I was born in Israel and lived there for 9 years before moving to the U.S. with my parents. Right after starting 1st grade, the Persian Gulf War expanded to include Iraq sending Scud (for some history) missiles filled with chemicals to Israel, which meant school was cancelled for about a couple months and we needed to take our gas masks everywhere we went, as we never knew when there would be an attack. Israel used sirens when we had incoming Scud missiles, day or night, so we would know to put the masks on and wait until the immediate threat was over. Experiences like these are why my parents worked for us to move to the U.S., so that I could have educational opportunities and we would be safe from the constant threat of wars and terrorism.
Considering how young I was when all this happened, the main things I recalled about the experience was that the gas masks were smelly (like rubber), hot, and uncomfortable (it dug into my chin to form a right seal). I had no frame of reference for these sirens, either, as I had nothing to compare. And then, one day almost 2 decades later, I watched the Doctor Who episode, The Empty Child, from Season 1, Episode 9, only to hear the same sound of sirens used during the Persian Gulf War was used during World War II, then to see gas masks similar to what my parents and I used then also used during this World War II time frame.
Honestly, I struggled to watch (read: looked away) any part of the episode where any character walked around with a gas mask, which was a rude awakening to suddenly learn I apparently had trauma related to those masks! From a broader context, it made me sad that 50 years later, regardless of what happened during and after, some version of history repeated itself, complete with an attempt to kill a people with yet another war, and both the warnings and protection methods somehow stayed the same. In retrospect, I don’t want to know what Israel’s Holocaust survivors went through, because both events happened during their lifetime, and they would’ve been reliving their trauma with these symbols– something I know I can’t even begin to imagine. The episode concluded with something along the lines of needing love and acceptance to heal, which was a direction I could never expect it could take, but felt was very appropriate and real.
Perhaps because of my experiences, despite how difficult and extra scary it was to watch at times, it made it worth watching and understanding the episode in a very different way. It managed to address issues to challenging topics with solutions that involve confronting rather than running away, and compassion in order to heal, which only comes after acceptance. One of the strengths of the show has always been to demonstrate the spirit of perseverance and goodness in humanity, in spite of the darker aspects. The world is at a delicate balance, both in the Doctor Who universe and our own, and with that comes an opportunity for each of us to make some impact based on our choices.
All this is to say and remind everyone that we don’t always know our triggers, or one another’s, so try to be mindful and be kind to yourself and others (as possible). The world sucks and is on fire, so keep doing your best. You got this.
This image is one of the most terrifying things in the world to most Whovians.
Yes, yes it is! One of their most effective pieces.
Agreed, and even moreso for those of us who had to wear similar masks.